Beware of....

.... unhappy salad-dressing in glass bottles.

Or perhaps (i) don't overstock your fridge, (ii) only carry what you can carry without dropping glass bottles on hard kitchen floors, (iii) take a more relaxed stance on cleaning up post-barbeque, (iv) set the cut-off at 5 years for disposing of out-of-date food (you're not going to suddenly develop a taste for something that's been uneaten for 1 year inside it's eat-by date, and then 5 years post-'edible'), (v) stick to just one cider.

There ends the silliest injury in the world.